Building Children for the Future- Necessary Measures
As Pandit Nehru believed and said, children, are the future of the nation and the citizens of tomorrow. Nurturing them, loving them, and making them responsible human beings is the most important job of a parent.
It’s an irony that parenting is the most taken-for-granted and the most rewarded job at the same time. Parents go through a hell lot of struggles for several years just to see their children shine brightly once they stand on their feet. The reward is incomparable!! Said that building a child for their future is such a challenging aspect of the job description that describes the role of a parent. So, what is the most important and the very first step towards building children for their future so that they can emerge as a person of their own and shine brightly in their eyes?
The following is based on an exclusive conversation with Riddhi Deorah, Parenting Expert, Coach, & Influencer
Work on Yourself
Preparing children for the unforeseen future starts from a very early age that involves parents working on themselves. “The best thing that a parent can do for a child is to keep working on themselves by learning, observing the surroundings and their children.”, says Riddhi Deorah.
“The more you work on yourself the less you have to work on your child. As a parent, you have to keep yourself updated with the changing time and practice the teachings that you want to inculcate in your children.”
Accept Your Child and Support Their Interest
The word parenting is derived from the Latin word Pareto which means to draw out or bring forth. As each child is an individual with a unique identity and skills, parents must accept the child as the best child for them. “Work on understanding and drawing out the best ability and qualities that your child has and help them polish their skills. Do not try to jam in more information because it will confuse them.”, Riddhi explained. Identifying what a child is naturally into and supporting them in what they truly enjoy will improve the parent-child relationship and it will automatically improve their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Model the Right Behavior
Children learn more by observing than by listening and for little children the role model is their parent. “Project yourself as a real parent, not as a perfect parent. Children adopt most of the habits from their parents. If a parent tends to express anger more, children will learn to express anger.”, Riddhi said. “Try to incorporate good behavior in your child by modeling it yourself.”
Make Them Understand that the Struggles are Real
Life is the longest and the sweetest journey yet it’s not all creamy. The bitter truth is that life is as bitter as bitter gourd, as sour as lemons, and as peppery as chilies. Children must be steadily exposed to this dark and difficult side of life and parents must teach the kids how to make lemonade out of lemons and how pepper adds flavor to the food. Riddhi suggested that parents must let the kids face minor issues from an early age. “Parents tend to rescue children from a difficult situation. I think it’s ok for a child to understand that struggles are real and an inseparable part of our lives including the children themselves and their parents as well.”, Riddhi emphasized. “Letting the kids handle small issues and the problems will give them an inkling of real-life challenges and struggles.”
Teach them to Communicate Effectively
Effective communication is the key to addressing the real issue and understanding it in a better way. Addressing the emotions in the right way and then working on kids’ behavior can only be done if parents can develop proper communication with their kids. “It’s very important for the parents to acknowledge their kid’s emotions, complains, and achievements in the right way when the kid is trying to communicate with parents.”, Riddhi advised. “Don’t judge the child for their behavior without understanding the real cause because children’s
behavior depends on emotions and their behavior is a way to communicate and express themselves.”
Riddhi also suggested that working on a kid’s EQ through proper communication will allow them to express themselves effectively which in turn will lead them to have a strong IQ. “It’s behavior over brilliance. If your child’s way of communicating or behaving is not right, nobody would want to listen to them no matter how brilliant and qualified they are.”
Let them Make Decisions and Own Them
Give the kids the freedom to make the decisions for themselves and also educate them to own their decisions. “Deciding for themselves will help the kids to think analytically, weigh the pros and cons and understand what is right for them.”, Riddhi said. She also advised that the parents must provide adequate advice and support whenever needed and also teach the kids to own to their decisions. “Taking ownership of their decisions will give the kids a sense of responsibility and also help them understand how, when, and what to decide.”
Make Them Aware of the Action and Consequences
Every action has consequences. Kids often act in a way that might be wrong and have severe consequences. As the obvious human nature, kids tend to make mistakes. It’s up to the parent to make the kids aware of the action-consequence equation and teach them to learn from their mistakes. “Everyone makes mistakes, let the kids make their share of mistakes. Teach them to accept their mistakes and learn from them. Let them understand the consequence of their actions in a positive way. Don’t scare them by scolding or enforcing punishments. This will damage the parent-child relationship and the kid might start hiding their mistakes in future.”, Riddhi suggested.
Don’t forget mistakes are our friends and the best teachers. Learning from their mistakes is the best way to discipline kids and teach them the consequences of their actions
Life is a very long journey having several milestones and every milestone is an achievement. Seeing their kids happy and succeed is what every parent strives for which is also the biggest achievement for them. The parent-child relationship is based on mutual trust and it’s the most important part of building kids for future success. Nurture the kids in a way that works best according to their personality. It will take time and constant effort but the fruit that you as a parent will reap will be the sweetest!!